In a Dying State
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I didn’t know I was dying until I got better… well, almost better.
Does it ever sneak up on you, ill health?
It did me just last month. I go so unwell that I spent days in bed that felt a lot like 10 years ago when I was at my worst. Uh-oh! What was happening?
A friend gave me some colloidal silver to try, and surprisingly (because I’d never tried it before), I began to feel better… like within 15 minutes! The next day, even more better!
I kept taking it then I switched to MMS (meanwhile I was still using my triangle and spike). Now, silver is an antibiotic so I concluded that what was afflicting me was an infection, and I knew where it was. It was in my colon.
Interestingly, I chose gut health repair as a topic to talk to you about this month, and here I am suffering from a leaky gut infection.
Another paradox – did it actually sneak up on me?
No.
I had it before – the root cause of the infection has been chronic. It came and went and I would treat it in the way that I do for maintenance, but it wasn’t enough.
The Questions
If this was you, you might ask yourself, as I did, was it a lack of good food? Not doing enough enemas to keep the channels clear? Too much caffeine? Or was it something else that led to this?
I ask because I know you’ve experienced this too. You get sick with something that seems to have come out of nowhere when in reality it had been there for a long time because you ignored it. You kept busy and diverted your attention to external things and neglected your own body.
And that’s what I did.
How could I?
I am after all, Fiona For Health! How did I fall off the health wagon and neglect my own body and soul?
The Answers
What I did was use my mind in the form of busyness, overthinking, and avoidance of deeper issues in my psyche to ignore my body and soul.
I failed myself… and you.
A Pivot
But wait… Is this a failure of my character or a catalyst for something else, like last time, 10 years ago?
I didn’t realize it until years after my health crash in 2014, but the time I spent facing my possible death led to years of unravelling emotional baggage that I’d buried inside, so deeply that it almost killed me. It forced me to face that emotional stuff once and for all.
And I recovered!
And I’ve done it again, but to a much lesser degree, thankfully – a shorter sickness time and a quicker recovery, by far.
Again, I was forced to slow way down and look inside myself, cut out the busyness, and face the nagging but serious issues that I’d buried within me, because as you know, all that external stuff – your job or business, money, being popular or whatever consumes your day – means nothing if you’re DEAD, right? Check out my interview with Hannah on the Mind & Dis-ease for more on that topic.
(Note: I’m not quite 100% recovered from the colon infection but I now feel alive again! Do you know the feeling?).
I guess the main this reinforces for me, and I hope you know it too, is this:
Our souls made a very big investment by coming here and inhabiting these bodies of ours – it is worth every minute to recover it, look within at the ghosts that torment your mind (and body) and bring yourself back to a growing state instead of a dying one, don’t you think?
[…] At the moment I’m trying out the carnivore diet (I’m on day 10 now) as a way to help me recover from the partial bowel blockage and infection I had this past summer. […]